Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Lifestyles of the Religious Nutball: Mere Mortal Actress Knows She Is Going To Heaven


Candace Cameron-Bure amazingly knows something that can only be known after death

by Larry Simons
November 23, 2010

On Thursday’s telecast of The 700 Club, former child star Candace Cameron-Bure [of Full House] revealed a shocking ability she has. Other than starring in lame TV shows and being equally lame at acting, she now has the ability to know she is going to heaven. I have proof she knows this. She simply said she knows.

In her interview with Michelle Wilson, Cameron-Bure says this:

"I loved God. I wanted to live for God, and yet I was completely living my life the way I wanted to and just using his forgiveness as a license to do that. It really woke me up. It was that moment where I needed to know that I’m going to go to heaven. How do I know that I’m not going to be left behind. I can’t just believe in Jesus but then do whatever I want, living my life however I think is right cause clearly that doesn’t work."

Of course, now that she is living for God, it can be assumed from the above quote that she now knows she is going to heaven. In other words, “living for God” and “knowing you will be in heaven" are synonymous to Cameron-Bure. I didn’t realize that all this time, all I had to do was live for God and somehow that would equip me with the supernatural ability to know that after I die, I will be in heaven.

Why can’t God give us give supernatural abilities that we could actually use? Like healing blind people, curing cancer, stopping insane dictators from wiping out millions of people or being able to stop planes from hitting skyscrapers? Nope. Not a chance. God is only interested in providing us with powers to know mundane pieces of information like we will be in heaven when we die if we “live for him”.

Watch mere mortal say she knows she will be in heaven


Attention all nutballs: Stop saying you KNOW you will be in heaven. You DON’T know. There is NO WAY to know if there even IS a heaven, let alone that you will be there. You don’t know that any more than I know that I will be kicked in the balls tomorrow by a mugger who then proceeds to steal the 5 dollars in my wallet. Stop it. Just stop it.

You can say, “I hope I will be in heaven [if there is one]”, or “I have faith in God that I will be in heaven with him [if there is one.....a God or a heaven]”. That would be fine. Stop saying you know. It pisses me off.

Cameron-Bure then says:

"I loved being on Full House," Bure tells The 700 Club. "It was an incredible experience for me. It was such a great group of people that I was working with."

Here is one of those “great people” Cameron-Bure is referring to: Bob Saget, who, incidentally is shown here singing the fine Christian tune “My Dog Licked My Balls

10 comments:

tony n laura said...

we know were going to heaven, even though she throws my cloths on the lawn and doesnt attend services while im not there. and even though i steal from chuchs when i leave to go to another one.

dave willis said...

you tell him tony. i have to write a story on antifreeze.

Messianic Theonomist said...

Larry -
You say I can't know where (or even if) I will spend eternity. In some sense you are correct.
And neither can you "Know" that the world is a cosmic accident, the product of billions of years of Evolution.
My faith is in God - yours is in, what exactly?

Larry said...

"in some sense" I'm correct? Try "in EVERY sense" I'm correct. When did I ever say I KNEW the world is a cosmic accident, the product of billions of years of evolution? It's perfectly OK for you to have FAITH, but to say you KNOW there is a God or a heaven is at complete odds with you having FAITH. If you KNEW somehing to be true, then faith is useless.

It would make no sense for me to say "I have faith that I'm a white male" because I KNOW I am. But that is the exact same kind of lunacy in which people like you say "I know there is a God".

It is with equal idiocy for someone to say they KNOW something they cant possibly know [like if God exists] and the other person to say they have faith in something they can know by looking in a mirror [being a white male].

Larry said...

To answer your question---my faith is in the pursuit of the truth, and if you were in pursuit of the truth Phill, you would realize that the truth about God is that we can't possibly know the truth about God [or if he exists]. Being an agnostic is what true humility is. It's saying one DOESNT know all the answers and that you will never look down on someone because you think that there is this all knowing being up in the sky looking down on you with favor and approval while he looks upon others [non-believers] with disgust and contempt.

Agnosticism would put an end to wars because it would remove the "my God is the true God and your God is false" factor and spare millions and millions of lives.

If your having faith in God was the only issue, that would be all well and good. But it doesnt stop there. You want everyone to be like you are to the point of forcing it down others' throats, preaching to them, telling them they will "go to hell" if they are not like you. Telling gay people that what they feel for their same sex partner is not real, but some twisted, perverted mental illness or disease. Causing wars over religious differences which contradicts any religion that claims peace is at its foundation. Wanting our constitution amended to include religious teaching and Bible verses [completely contradicting the whole separation of church and state concept created by our DEIST/NON-CHRISTIAN founders]. It goes on and on. Faith is never enough for Christians. That has been proven time and time again by history.

Phill said...

Maybe you are humble, Larry. But a lot of atheists and "agnostics" are the type of peoble who say they can't believe in God because things are not the way THEY think they should be - or would be if they were God. Or just say they can't believe in God because they can't understand Him.
News flash - any god small enough to be "understood" by any mortal man is not large enough to bother believing in.
You say there would be no wars if everyone were agnostic. Generally speaking, wars are started by governments that see themselves as God - even if they can't openly acknowledge that to the people they consider their subjects.
As for gays, I don't know any Christians who tell homosexuals that their "gay" feelings are not real - just that they are SIN, the same as heterosexual relationships between unmarried partners.
I've never tried to force my beliefs on anyone, because it does not work. But I have a moral obligation to "Yell FIRE in a crowded building" if the building IS on fire. Whether anyone heeds my warning is then on themselves.

Larry said...

Phill, you said:

"But I have a moral obligation to "Yell FIRE in a crowded building" if the building IS on fire. Whether anyone heeds my warning is then on themselves."

That would make sense because you can SEE the fire. Can you see God?

"News flash - any god small enough to be "understood" by any mortal man is not large enough to bother believing in."

This is just another way of saying that Christians preach about the things they think they understand and when they cant understand something or when they are confronted with things they cant answer [because it's IMPOSSIBLE to know] they claim "We cant knowEVERYTHING about God because he's too complex". It's a bullshit way of weaseling out of explaining hard issues that they SHOULD know the answers to if God was the all-loving God he claims to be---but since the Bible is chock full of contradictions and unscientific occurances, they play the "God is too complex to understand" card.

How dumb do you think I am?

Larry said...

"But a lot of atheists and "agnostics" are the type of peoble who say they can't believe in God because things are not the way THEY think they should be - or would be if they were God. Or just say they can't believe in God because they can't understand Him."

There is also MUCH less crime among atheists and agnostics than Christians. Christians have committed some of the most unbelievably vile and deplorable acts of violence and murder in the past 2,000 years---including sex with children and chopping up family members.

Also, a recent poll indicated that agnostics and atheists know more general knowledge about religion than evangelical christians do. I did a story on that here at my blog.

"As for gays, I don't know any Christians who tell homosexuals that their "gay" feelings are not real - just that they are SIN, the same as heterosexual relationships between unmarried partners."

Are you kidding me? The BIBLE itself says the feelings arent real----it says they are DEPRIVED. You know its CHRISTIANS who protest more about gay people than any other group of people Phill--and its NOT because it's just SIN. It's because Christians feel threatened by these people, despite the fact that christians believe God is all powerful---so why would they feel threatened?

How many Christians do you see saying what George Bush did was wrong in torturing people and killing a million Iraqis over a war started by a lie?? NOT MANY.

How many Christians tell the truth about Abraham Lincoln, that he was a ruthless dictator that was responsible for the deaths of roughly 300,000 Americans, who imprisoned political opponents for simply telling the truth about him? NONE.

Google Pastor Steve Anderson and if after watching him you can still hold your view that Christians ONLY oppose homosexuality because it's "sin", then you're a fraud like most Christians are.

You even celebrate Christmas on Dec 25, which was the last day of the festival Saturnalia, a pagan celebration. The celebration of Christmas on the 25th is DIRECTLY the result of that pagan festival. I did a story on that too, and you ignored it.

Anonymous said...

I will pray for you and for your soul....May GOD have Mercy on you.....The Only Way is Through JESUS.

Larry said...

"I will pray for you and for your soul....May GOD have Mercy on you.....The Only Way is Through JESUS."

Thanks. I feel better now.

Apparently you must have seen Jesus physically and he told you he's the only way. Or else, how would you know? FAITH isn't KNOWING.