Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Lifestyles of the Religious Nutball: Mere Mortal Actress Knows She Is Going To Heaven
Candace Cameron-Bure amazingly knows something that can only be known after death
by Larry Simons
November 23, 2010
On Thursday’s telecast of The 700 Club, former child star Candace Cameron-Bure [of Full House] revealed a shocking ability she has. Other than starring in lame TV shows and being equally lame at acting, she now has the ability to know she is going to heaven. I have proof she knows this. She simply said she knows.
In her interview with Michelle Wilson, Cameron-Bure says this:
"I loved God. I wanted to live for God, and yet I was completely living my life the way I wanted to and just using his forgiveness as a license to do that. It really woke me up. It was that moment where I needed to know that I’m going to go to heaven. How do I know that I’m not going to be left behind. I can’t just believe in Jesus but then do whatever I want, living my life however I think is right cause clearly that doesn’t work."
Of course, now that she is living for God, it can be assumed from the above quote that she now knows she is going to heaven. In other words, “living for God” and “knowing you will be in heaven" are synonymous to Cameron-Bure. I didn’t realize that all this time, all I had to do was live for God and somehow that would equip me with the supernatural ability to know that after I die, I will be in heaven.
Why can’t God give us give supernatural abilities that we could actually use? Like healing blind people, curing cancer, stopping insane dictators from wiping out millions of people or being able to stop planes from hitting skyscrapers? Nope. Not a chance. God is only interested in providing us with powers to know mundane pieces of information like we will be in heaven when we die if we “live for him”.
Watch mere mortal say she knows she will be in heaven
Attention all nutballs: Stop saying you KNOW you will be in heaven. You DON’T know. There is NO WAY to know if there even IS a heaven, let alone that you will be there. You don’t know that any more than I know that I will be kicked in the balls tomorrow by a mugger who then proceeds to steal the 5 dollars in my wallet. Stop it. Just stop it.
You can say, “I hope I will be in heaven [if there is one]”, or “I have faith in God that I will be in heaven with him [if there is one.....a God or a heaven]”. That would be fine. Stop saying you know. It pisses me off.
Cameron-Bure then says:
"I loved being on Full House," Bure tells The 700 Club. "It was an incredible experience for me. It was such a great group of people that I was working with."
Here is one of those “great people” Cameron-Bure is referring to: Bob Saget, who, incidentally is shown here singing the fine Christian tune “My Dog Licked My Balls”