Friday, June 4, 2010

Ted Haggard: I’m A Changed Man [With the Same Gay-Sounding Voice]


“Christian” Ted Haggard says he is a “changed” man. Now he's interested in Jesus again without the weiners in his ass....so he claims

by Larry Simons
June 4, 2010

On Thursdays telecast of The Joy Behar Show, Christian minister-turned butt pirate-turned Christian minister again, Ted Haggard and his wife Gayle, appeared to discuss the opening of Haggard’s new church in Colorado Springs, his past gay activities and Gayle’s new book “Why I Stayed”.

I will not even discuss the hilarity of the new church launching or his wife’s new book. They are both punchlines in and of themselves. What struck me as interesting during the interview was Haggard’s response to Behar’s question “How do you justify your moral authority to preach to these people?” He said:

“In the state I was in prior to my fall I thought differently than I think now. After all the embarrassment, the shame, the suffering, the uh baptism and love and compassion and understanding that I’ve been through, I’ve become a different man….I’ve become a better man. I’m a changed man.”

Wait a minute, Ted. I thought you were in a “saved” state before your fall? You thought “differently”? So, you didn’t think Jesus was God and that he hated homosexuality? You didn’t think that God hated gays so much, that he destroyed two entire cities because of it? You didn’t think marriage was a man and a woman?

You’ve “become a different man”? I thought that already happened when you were “saved” Ted? You’ve become a “better” man? How is that even possible? How can one become “better” than the saved, redeemed, cleansed and righteous state that Jesus transforms people into at the time of their “salvation”? So, in admitting that you are a “better” man, that implies being born again through the blood of Jesus is not the very highest state of being one can be in? Interesting.

So, Ted wants us all to believe that we all have to fall and commit some atrocious sin in order for us to be catapulted into a state in which [through only that atrocious act] we can become “better” and “changed” people? In Haggard’s case, it just happened to be one of the worst acts a Christian [in their view] can engage in: homosexuality. An act that they [ministers] take full delight in condemning its participants to eternal damnation.

Am I hearing Ted right? Is he not saying, “commit one of the most vile, revolting and God-abhorring sins that you could ever commit [homosexuality] and through that, you can become a “better” man"? Wow, for some strange reason that was completely omitted from any Sunday school lesson and college course I have ever sat in on.

Thanks Ted. Thanks for enlightening all of us [males] that we can all become “better” people, not from confessing our sins to God, giving our lives to Jesus, sharing the love of Jesus with everyone we encounter in life or feeding the hungry or helping the poor, but by taking a giant schlong in our asses and wrapping our lips around a glistening peen.

Apparently, Haggard’s transformation back into a “saved” heterosexual, who loves his wife now more than ever, did not include any change in his still homosexual-sounding voice.

When Behar asks him if homosexuals are allowed in his new church, Haggard replies, "Absolutely!" Haggard wouldn't have it any other way. What would be better for Haggard than to be inside a church and getting to stare at attractive homosexuals at the same time? Haggard would be in heaven without even having to die!

watch the clip

2 comments:

big homo said...

he has not changed anything. he's gay. he likes the festival of saturnilia.

last quennie fraud name left said...

hes gayer than me and socrates.