Friday, March 12, 2010

Things I Hate: "In Memory Of" Window Decals


by Larry Simons
March 12, 2010

OK, I can understand that people are going through a tough time when they lose someone and they want to pay a personal tribute to their deceased loved one by sticking a "In Memory Of" decal on their back window. The key word there was "personal". Why should I have to look at it? I didn't know your Uncle Billy, your Aunt Mabel, your sister Sue, or your bowling buddy Skip. Why can't you put the tribute on your rear view mirror or the front of your glove box where only YOU see it?

Not only do I have to look at this mobile headstone of your father [that I didn't know] for 5 or 6 miles, but if you piss me off by driving 5 m.p.h. in a 30 m.p.h. zone, stop abruptly or cut me off, now I can't yell at you and call you a "stupid asshole" without getting an eerie feeling that I'm also yelling at your dead father [John Lee Smith, Sr., who was born April 2, 1938 and died just 2 weeks ago] and he is saying to me, "Take it easy on my son, he's still in mourning."

Thanks Dad, and it sucks that your dead, but your son just made me late for music trivia at Buffalo Wild Wings. Now my chance of a top 100 win is in jeopardy.

I want to yell at drivers guilt-free and free from the feeling that the deceased mother of the douchebag I just yelled at for cutting me off won't call on spirits from the great beyond to cause my breaks to quit.

9 comments:

Suzie said...

I was just online looking at window decals for my car and came across your blog. I myself used to think how tacky and why in the world would someone want that on their car; I would never. April 30, 2010 I lost my only child; Justin, in a car accident. He was only 17 and to graduate in 3 weeks. I now look at these and think how sad, those poor people. A loss this great will completely change your perspective on the way you see things and I pray you will never have to know.

Larry said...

I think you're equating the tragic loss of someone with what my article is actually about: putting the "in memory" decal on the back of a vehicle. These are two separte things. Notice my article was not titled "Things I Hate: People who tragically lose someone". I completely sympathize with you that you lost your son and I am in no way insensitive of that, but why do you care if people you will never meet see a memorial of your son on your car? That is personal info that should only be shared by you and your family---not complete strangers who may or may not care.

I think these mobile tributes actually do a disservice to the deceased because it minimizes their deaths.

Anonymous said...

ITS IS TO HELP YOU THINK A LITTLE HARDER LARRY ON HOW INSENSATIVE YOU ARE WHEN YOUR DRIVING AND HAVE THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT THESE DECALS. I AM GLAD IT STUCK TO YOU THAT IS WHY THEY ARE THERE. JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU ACCIDENTLY KILL SOMEONE IN A CAR ACCIDENT BECUASE YOU GOT SO UPSET OVER A DECAL AND DECIDE TO PASS THEM AND HIT SOMEONE ELSE HEAD ON. THE PEOPLE IN THE OTHER CAR WHO YOU HAVE KILLED BECUASE YOU ARE SO UPSET OVER THE FACT YOU HAD TO THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND DEATH. NOW YOUR DEAD AND SO ARE THE OTHERS AND THIER MEMORY LIVES ON AND YOURS DOESNT. SORRY THAT YOU FEEL THAT WHAT YOU READ IS SUCH AN INCONVIENCE TO YOU.

Larry said...

Good grief. Get a life, and take some grammar courses while you're at it.

Alicia said...

I was searching for an In Memory car decal for my sister when I came across this posting. Suzie is very right, it is impossible to imagine the kind of life changing pain that can be caused when a loved one passes. Is this really a topic you needed to post about? By all means be annoyed, tell your buddies how ridiculous this seems to you, rant for hours. I personally don't care for any form of decal or bumper sticker on vehicles. For goodness sake though, why post it on here? People who are searching for just such decals, might accidentally come across this and be hurt by your words.

Also, I think it is down right disrespectful to say these decals do a disservice to the deceased. I can promise you that if a little decal helps my sister grieve, her son wouldn't think she was doing him a disservice at all.

Larry said...

I would think that the deceased person wouldnt give a rats ass if their name was NOT posted on the back of a car. Funny you said I should do my ranting in private, but I feel the people should do their mourning in private. It's a private issue [grieving] so why announce it?

jasonsmom285 said...

Larry, grieving is private, mainly because in this society, no one wants to acknowledge it and the tremendous impact it has on the life of a person who loses someone precious to them. We're supposed to deal with it alone and usually pretend we're "over it" when the funeral ends. Whatever helps someone cope should be encouraged and accepted even if not understood. We don't expect or want anyone to "understand" why we do what we do, as the only way you could really understand is to see your child dead in front of you. And we wouldn't wish that on anyone or their child. Does it honestly disturb you to see that someone wants to memorialize a loved one? Having that outlet is probably one of the main things that saved my sanity in the years since Jason died. I know it probably seems goofy to people who never had the loss, on a bumper sticker, same as "My child made the honor roll" to people who aren't parents. But to "hate it" seems extreme. I tell parents new to grief, to do whatever it takes, whatever brings a degree of comfort in the worst of times, if it brings an iota of relief, do it. As you say, it's a private thing. Don't let it get to you, just be glad you're not that person who had it made.

Real Truth Online said...

for all future post-ers. This article was actually meant to be more of a satirical shtick than a real serious issue I have. My more serious issues are the political stories I write about.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Larry. Car decal memorials are tacky and there are many better ways to honor and remember a loved one than with a decal that one only sees when putting groceries in the trunk.